Monday, December 28, 2009

Where Did the L.O.V.E Go?

"We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find." -Unknown

When I was younger, my grandmother would always say "Baby, the love will long as he's paying the bills you stay right there..." Really Granny?? (May her sweet soul rest in peace) But seriously, a lot of older women and some young women, still say things like this and really believe everything that what they are saying is true! And the one that I hate the most..."Make sure he loves you more than you love him" Now, how does that really make sense? My mother would tell me that all the time and for a minute I started believing her.  I mean, I honestly started thinking...are all the couples that I see together really meant to be together or did they just settle for each other because they couldn't be with the person that they really wanted? Should I just settle for the man that loves me more than I love him(if I love him at all...)?? I try to look at everything, for the most part, from a logical standpoint and I just don't see the logic in being with someone that loves and cares for me more than I love and care for him. Isn't that sort of selfish? Shouldn't he have the right to be with the person that does have those same feelings for him? But would he love her as much as he loves me? Or would he even love her at all? See what I'm saying? Is anyone with who they really want to be with? The unfortunate twist to any relationship is that one person may feel as if you they've found their soulmate but the other person may not feel that way.

I'm single for a's quite simple...I just haven't found the right man. Now some would ask the question, is the "right one" really out there? I believe so, the RIGHT one for me, that is! If I just wanted to be with any 'ole Joe Schmo that wouldn't be a problem, but I want to be with that person that loves me as much as I love him. Am I crazy to believe that I still have an opportunity to find love? I don't know...maybe, maybe not. Should I just be with someone based on what they can do for me and learn to love them over time? What if I never learn to love that person?? I guess that's the risk I'm suppose to take...NOT! So many times I hear women talking about how much money a man has or his social status,but what happens if he loses all of that? Will you still love him? What if the material things no longer exist?? Could you still see yourself "learning" to love him? I honestly believe that these are all valid questions. I just can't see myself being with someone solely on the basis of what he can do for me or how HE feels about ME. Ok, so he cares about me, I'm flattered. But if my heart's not in it there is nothing that he can do for me or say to me that will make me change my mind. Once again, this might sound crazy to some but hey, I'm entitled to my own opinion.

I just believe that we now live in a world of convenience where more and more relationships and marriages are being treated as business deals...nothing more, nothing less. Where did the love go? Lord help us all! Anyway...this is my point.....don't give up on true love. And when I say that I mean that undying love that exist between a man and a woman. Don't allow yourself to believe that you should settle for less than what you deserve...not cool. Don't allow someone to tell you to find someone that loves you more than you love them...there should be a balance in your relationship. There is nothing worse than having someone tell you that they love you and you have to struggle to say those words back to them. I know what it feels like to say those words when the feeling isn't really there....worst feeling ever. Just a little food for thought...

Until next time....

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Why Do Men Cheat??...The REAL Reason(s)

This whole Tiger Woods fiasco really has me thinking....what is the real reason why men cheat? Is it because of some type of mental imbalance or is it simply because they become bored being with one woman? I know this is the million dollar question to which all women want to know the answer but this topic is very intriguing to me. Why do men cheat? Ok, so Tiger had not only one woman on the side, but he had like 10 other women!! Who does that? I mean, why get married? No, seriously. If you know you love women, why get married or get in a relationship and make someone's life miserable by cheating on her. Make no sense to me!

Now, clearly Tiger lost himself out there and the fact that he surrounded himself by such individuals as Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley doesn't say much for him. Jordan's ex-wife, Juanita, received $168 million in their divorce settlement...I'll just take a wild guess and say that it probably would've been cheaper to keep her...but that's just me. But let's forget about the money for a minute(well at least try). Why risk losing your family and jeopardizing your intergrity for a piece of ass?? I just don't get it! Can someone please explain? I was just using Tiger as an example because he was risking a lot more than the average man simply because of who he is, but let's discuss the average man. You know, the guy that goes to work everyday or "hustles" to make a living. Let's talk about him. Now, from a logical standpoint I would think that it would be much easier to be single and just date several women rather than being in a relationship or getting married and having to keep up with lies that you will be forced to tell. But there again....that's just me. However, I've talked to several men that admit to cheating and this is what they tell ready for this? They love their girlfriend/wife and they know that's who they want to be with, but sometimes when it's right in front of you it's hard to say no. Huh? So, you're a grown ass man with no self-control? Oh ok. That's that bullshit! Ok, so my question still stands....why commit?? If you love that person like you say you do, why risk hurting them? I'm a woman but I can only speak for myself when I say that I would much rather a man love me and respect me enough to tell that he's just not ready to commit versus him being with me and CHEATING! Negative! The worst thing you can do is cheat on me and then tell me..."but I love you girl" Love should've brought your ass home last night...ha! I always wanted to say that! But really, how do love someone and be dishonest at the same time? How does that work? I know love and relationships can be a little tricky but damn...some things should just be common sense. Maybe I'm being naive, who knows!

I know this is a very interesting topic but I really want feedback from my brothas! Fill your girl in and let me know the real...I'm waiting! lol

Until next time....

Monday, December 14, 2009

My Test of Faith...

I haven't posted anything on here in awhile..I missed writing! I know most of my posts usually have to do with love and relationships but this time I felt compelled to change it up a bit. Most recently I haven't been feeling very well, partly due to stress(Note: Stress can kill you!). I was experiencing chest pains, shortness of breath, and many other symptoms that lead me to believe I was dying!(Dramatic..I know) I had to go to the ER twice and no one could tell me about scared. Actually, scared may not be the best word....I was petrified! But, let me start from the all started after I went to the doctor and she told me that she saw some blockage in my heart...WTH? Blockage? I'm only 27 years old and I exercise on a regular basis...ok, so my diet isn't the best but it's not the worst. Anyway, she referred me to a cardiologist just to make sure it wasnt anything serious. The first thought that came to my mind was "I'm too young to die!" There are so many things I haven't accomplished! But, age has nothing to at all to do with it. Of course, when I left her office and I got in my car, I started crying. I didn't know what else to do!  Moving on...I scheduled an appointment with the cardiologist and they ran all these tests on me to make sure that there was nothing seriously wrong with my heart or lungs. They noticed that my pulmonary artery was enlarged but he assured me that it was nothing to worry about. I promise I have never in my life prayed the way I've prayed in the last couple of weeks. I didn't want to talk to anybody but God because I knew He was the only one that could bring me through this. I knew this was a test of my faith and I wasn't going to allow the devil to take over my mind or my body.

When all this was happening, I started to think about what was really important. I thought about all the people in my life that I love and cherish. I can only speak for myself when I say that it took something like this to open my eyes to life and what matters the most. Life is too short to worry about things that don't matter or those things that we cannot change. I had a habit of dwelling on the past...I couldn't help it! I often wondered why things turned out a certain way or what I couldn've done to change the outcome. Who does that?? ME! What I had to realize is the past is the past and that's that. The present and the future are the only two moments of time that I should care about. One thing is for relationship with God is much stronger and this has truly shown me that with Him by side I can handle anything that the devil throws my way. I know that I am truly blessed and right now my happiness and good health mean more to me than anything.

I thought I would keep it short and simple with this

Thanks for listening....

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Happiness.......What's the True Meaning?

Have you ever just been TIRED? No, I mean really TIRED, just FED UP!! Well, I think, scratch that, I know I'm at that point. I'm sitting here now with red eyes from restlessness and my night isn't even over. Wow! Between school, a stressful job, not to mention LIFE in general, I don't know how much more I can take! No, I'm not contemplating suicide(lol) I love myself too much! And I know this is the story of millions but why is that? Why is it that we don't take enough time for ourselves to do the things that really make us happy. Wait, do we even know what it is that makes us happy? I mean really, don't fake the funk, be real with me. We spend so much time and money getting these degrees in professions that half of us are unhappy with. That may not be the case with everyone, but that's for damn sure the case with me. But does that really make sense? I'm just saying. Think about what really makes you happy. That thing that makes you smile and gets you excited everytime you think about doing it. Now, the downside to this is that whatever "that thing" might be, you may not be able to turn that into a profession that makes you the money to carry on the lifestyle that you are used to having. What to do?! Do you just continue on with your unhappy existence or do you make a move to do something about it? No, I'm not telling you to up and quit your job, that's not a smart move if you don't have a Plan B.(lol) But I am telling you to find what makes you happy. For instance, when I started this blog there people that thought I was joking(including my mother) because they had no idea I could write.(lol) The funny thing is that I started this blog as a form of therapy for myself. It allows me to express my thoughts and topics on issues that I know other people think about. I had no idea that other people would be interested in reading what I write. I say all that to say...I'm not going to quit my job(at least not yet) to become a professional blogger, but when I have a bad day at work(which turns out to be pretty much everyday) sharing my thoughts and feelings with you all makes me feel better. What more can I say?

Life is too short! Do whatever makes you happy and push all that doubt and negativity our of your head. I honestly believe that life is all about choices...we all have the right to do what makes us happy but it's up to you to make that happen. I challenge everyone reading this to find that one thing(might be more but I like to start slow lol) that makes you happy and go for it! Stop thinking about it and JUST DO IT!!

That's all folks!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

"Relationship? Why Would He Do That?"

Are women making it too easy for men these days? I ask that question because I'm really confused. (lol) It seems like these days men don't even think about having a monogamous relationship. I'm starting to believe that they think if they view you as being the "main chick" you should be content with that. Really? When did this become ok? I'm just saying...There was a time when a relationship meant one man being with one woman. Now, you have men, and some women, that make it perfectly clear that you are number one but there are a few others on the side. Some of you may be shaking your heads right now, but you know I'm telling the truth.

Seriously, even though we say to ourselves "I would never allow a man to do me that way" or "If I can't be the only one in your life I don't want to be with you at all" can you honestly say that you've never considered being in a "fake relationship" just for the sake of being alone? Man I tell ya, when that loneliness kicks in you start having some strange thoughts. (lol) Sometimes we enter into the position of the "main chick" thinking we can change the man and persuade him into making us the only woman...WRONG! A man will not change until he's good and damn ready and if you go into it knowing what it is and what it's going to's hard to turn that into a positive for you. He will forever use the famous line of "well you knew I didn't want a commitment when you started dealing with me" and of course then we have to comeback with "Yes, but I thought things would change!" Why did you think that? Have you ever heard the famous phrase "Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free" Sure you have! Well why commit when you can have all the benefits of a relationship without ever actually having to be in a relationship? Make sense now? I just don't understand how some women pride themselves in being the "main girl".....If he's dealing with both or all of them wouldn't they all be considered the "side chick"? Let me know...I can be slow at times! (lol) I can speak from experience when I say that even though in the beginning you may have an "understanding", unless you are an all out whore, which I'm sure is not the case, it is just a matter of time before that "understanding" goes completely out the door. Just be careful!

I guess what I'm trying to say to all my single ladies is this....DON"T SETTLE! You're're self worth is priceless and there is someone out there that will recognize that sooner or later! When they look at you and only you, they will see love and that my dear is well worth the wait!

Until next time....

Monday, November 09, 2009

A Special Thanks to Dr. Booker T. Washington....

This past weekend I attended the Homecoming of my Alma Mater..Tuskegee University! I become excited everytime I think about all the young, educated African-American males and females that were together in one place showing mad love towards one another. My experience at Skegee was priceless...I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Of course, there are certain things that I probably should've done differently, but everything happens for a reason...right? (lol)  I was amazed at how some people hadn't changed at all, but on the hand, there were some people that had done a complete that was funny.  I certainly saw a few people that made me think to myself  "What the hell was I thinking? Why did I not talk to him?" (lol)  But I only pondered for about 2 minutes...then I got over it!

I have several friends that did not attend an HBCU and I joke with them all the time that they missed out on a life-changing experience. Now don't get it twisted...Skegee definitely had her flaws! Having no lights or air during the middle of the summer in 110 degree weather.....running from roaches that were the size of a child.... standing in the registration line for hours at a time and then having to deal with attitudes from Registrar....BUT I honestly believe that having to endure those things changed me for the better.

 When I entered in as a freshman, I had life all fucked  oops... messed up! lol I really thought the world revolved around me and nothing else mattered. Materialistic was not the word for me...actually I don't have a word that could really describe my attitude back then. I came from a place where everyone had the same look, the same way of thinking....basically just on some dumb ish! The sad part is some people are still on the same thing they were on back then...absolutely no growth. Skegee saved my life! lol No, but seriously, I was introduced to so many different types of people and so many different ways of thinking. It felt so good to be able to walk down the street and speak to 30 people without ever knowing their name, but it didn't matter! On any given day you could hear dialogue from the West Coast, the Midwest, the East Coast, the Bahamas...that's crazy! From..."What up Joe?" to "That's Hella Crazy" to What's Good Son?" Man, y'all got me over here really reminiscing! (lol) This weekend brought back a lot of those memories and for that I am thankful. I am thankful for the friendships and bonds that were developed that will forever remain regardless of distance or time. I am thankful for my TUSKEGEE EXPERIENCE!

That is all....

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

When Is it Time To Let Go?

My mother always told me to never go backwards in a relationship....I SHOULD'VE LISTENED! Seriously, why do we always end up going back even though we know the situation is bad for us? Why is it so hard to let go? Sometimes when we are involved with a person for a substantial amount of time, we feel that we have invested too much time to walk away. But does that really make sense? Hmmmm..

It's so funny to me how we can say so many times,"I'm done!" but we see that person or receive a phone call or text and it's back on! Whatever happened to "Just say no"? (lol) But seriously, I think we as women, and I won't leave out the brothas, have to understand that it has to be over in your heart as well as your mind for it to REALLY be over. We can say all day that we are done with an individual but if you're heart is still in're not done. You have to be totally at peace with the situation for it to be over. The key to letting go is TIME! Don't rush it. If you want to continue to do the back and forth thing because you still have hopes that things will it! No one should judge you for wanting to do that. It's ok to take the advice of your friends(I do it all the time lol) but at the end of day let the decision be yours and yours only. Letting go is hard but one thing that I know to be true..when you're done, you're done and there is nothing anyone can say or do to change your mind. Sometimes it takes getting tired and fed up with a situaion in order for you to leave.

I decided to do this post because I've seen so many situations(including my own)where individuals have wasted so much time and energy on someone that didn't deserve them in the first place. But because they were in love with the person they didn't want to let go. They didn't want to let go of that hope that one day things would change and they would live happily ever after. Not saying that's impossible but you can't force it. If something is meant to be it will be and if that person is meant for you, they will come back to you. Now, whether or not you take them back is all on you! (lol) But to all my beautiful people, love yourself first and foremost and everything else will fall in place.

Until next time....

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Is It Really For the Baby? Yea Right...

Have you ever met a person and they told you that they were with there mate because of the child? I have. Now, because I do not have any kids I will not and cannot judge them, along with the fact that I'm not a judmental person. BUT, as a realist and looking at it from a logical standpoint, I just don't get it. I do understand loving your child and wanting him/her to be raised in a family setting, but if that's the reason just say that! I feel like in so many situations, both parties use the child as a reason for staying because it's much easier to do that instead of admitting their true feelings. Believe me, I've dealt with someone that had a child, and he loved his son to death. However, he did not want anything to do with his child's mother(at least not in a romantic way). They were cordial because of the precious gift that they shared together, but they were mature enough to realize that they didn't have to be in a relationship in order to raise their child. Although he and I are no longer dating, I will always and forever respect him for his maturity and the love and respect that he has for his son and his son's mother.

One thing that really bothers me is when some women threaten the man with never seeing his child again! Who in the hell does that? Seriously, if a man loves his child and wants to take care of his responsibility, why would you deprive him of that? Just because you want him and you don't want to see him with someone else? Ok, once again I will make it a point to say that I have NO kids, but if I did, my child would be my main concern! If the man decides for whatever reason that he does not want to be with me...KICK ROCKS!! Often times, we as women get so caught up in the man that we tend to lose ourselves. I've seen it happen too many times. Hell, it's happened to me! But one thing I've learned in my 27 years of life is that I will ALWAYS love myself first. I might find myself in love with him but I love myself more.

Men...if you love your child's mother and you want to be with her...IT'S OK! I'm not saying that's the case with all men but some men feel like they have to lie to kick it...false assumption! I just strongly believe that when you have unprotected sex with a person, as an adult you know that you run the risk of getting pregnant or inpregnating someone...obviously you cared enough for that person to run that risk. Unfortunately, in some cases, after the child is born you start seeing a side of your mate that you didn't know existed.(lol) I'm laughing because I hear so many of my friends say "Girl,after this baby was born he just started acting crazy!", or from the male "Ole girl just started flippin out after she had the baby..I can't go nowhere!" Well damn. But it happens everyday.

All I'm saying is that I don't think it's logical to stay in a negative situation claiming it's for your child. How are you helping your child? I would only assume that it's healthier for your child to see their parents have a healthy relationship even though they don't live together versus both of their parents being in the home but they argue all the time. What you see as a child has a heavy bearing on how you view certain situations as an adult...I'm just saying.

But those are just my two cents....who the hell am I? lol

Please share your thoughts with me!!!

Until Next Time....

Thursday, October 15, 2009

What's it going to be? A Situation or a Relationship?

So, I should be studying but I have something on my mind right now and I felt compelled to write about it. Lately, I've been hearing a lot of people say that they are in a "situation". Now, when I think of a "situation", I'm thinking hostage takeover(but that's just At what point does a relationship turn into a situation? Did the word "relationship" go out of style and I didn't get the memo? Let me know!

True Story: I'm at the gym and this guy approaches me and strikes up a conversation. He wasn't too hard on the eyes so I continued to converse with him which lead to him asking for my number. I spoke with him a couple of times on the phone and he seemed to be really cool. So, one night, while talking on the phone with my best friend, I coincidentally ran across a picture of him on Facebook..(I promise I wasn't even looking for the To make a long story short, the woman in the picture with him was his wife! This man never wore a ring or gave off any signs that he could be possibly married! When I asked him about it he said that they have an "open relationship" and it's just a "complicated situation". He actually referred to his MARRIAGE as a "situation"! Needless to say, I no longer talk to him.

I just don't understand how you can live with someone, have sex with him/her, tell that person that you love them and call it a "situation"....I'm confused. There are a couple of ways that the word situation can be defined. One way in which it can be defined is "a critical or unusual difficulty"...Huh? As an adult I can't imagine being with someone and viewing my relationship as "a critical or unusual difficulty" but because I don't want to hurt that persons feelings or be alone I decide to stay just for the hell of it. Does that make sense? Not really..but I'm a little different so you can't go by what I think. If somewhere along the lines you realize that you no longer want to be with your mate...why not express those feelings? I was always told that honesty is the best policy! But's just easier to change your title to a "situation". WOW!

I totally understand being with a person and getting to a point in the relationship where you just don't know if you want to go any further. I also understand being in that in-between stage where you're "talking" but it hasn't quite developed into a relationship...I get all that! But what I don't understand is how you be with someone for X amount of years and you refer to it as a "situation". I just wish think we live in a society of convenience. We would rather be in a convenient situation than leave a messed up relationship. I don't know..that's just my two cents.

Thanks for listening!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Will I Ever Find My Mr. Right????????????

I'm getting scared people!(lol) Seriously, are there any women out there that feel me when I say that I think I will forever be single? I mean, really, think about it...who's to say that everyone is going to find the RIGHT person and get married? If I never find MR. RIGHT, am I supposed to just settle for MR. OK? My mother and sister constantly question me about why I'm single. They feel it's because I'm picky...THERE IS NO TRUTH IN THAT ASSUMPTION!(lol) I don't have a problem dating men with kids even though I don't have kids...**Disclaimer**BUT, if the child is under the age of 3 I might have to say no just for the simple fact that he is probably still involved with his child's mother..ijs. I don't have a problem dating a man without a degree. In fact, some of the brothers I know with a degree are so hard to deal with because they are so caught up on the fact that they have one and they feel that they are the last of a dying breed...Whew!(deep breath)Looks are the last of my worries at this point, well not the last, but you know what I mean. Really, I'm so simple and all I ask for is honesty, respect and a little that too much to ask for? So, again I ask myself..what's the problem? Am I just one of those people that is meant to be single? I was talking to my best friend last night and once again, we had a loooong conversation about men and their problems. I know so many guys that just can't be honest for the life of them. Much respect to those men out there that know how to keep it real even if they risk hurting the girls feelings. I would rather you hurt my feelings than allow me to fall for you knowing you're leading a double life...not a good look. I'm a big girl..I can take it!

I'm afraid that I'm becoming a cynic in regards to love. Don't get me wrong, I know it exist but I just don't think it exist in my world. I don't want to be the old lady on the porch with a lot of cats.(lol) Ok, maybe that was a little too far to the left, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone and at the rate I'm going, it's not looking good. Should I just prepare myself mentally in the case that this happens? Chile, it's gettin serious! But, then again all I can do is have faith that my time will come.

Until next time....

Thursday, October 08, 2009

The Man...The Provider Or Maybe Not...

One of my very close friends called me yesterday to ask my advice regarding an issue she has been having with her man. "Do you think I'm being irrational?" she asked. It's funny how you can always offer advice to others but you it's always a challenge to figure out your own shit.(lol) Anyway, her issue is the fact that her man has a problem helping her financially because she makes more money than him. The real problem is that this is the man that she wants to marry. Ok, some would say that she sounds like she's in it only for the money...NOOOOO! So, not the case! She has been with this guy for some years now and they have had their issues just like any other couple. This is where I'm confused....he lives at home with his parents, no bills, no REAL responsibilites...can we say SPOILED? He doesn't feel as if he should have to help her because in his mind "she has it." Ok even if she "has it" isn't part of being in a relationship knowing that the other person has your back no matter what? Do I have to be destitute for you to lend a helping hand? ijs... That's CRAZY!! She's not asking him to take care of her but they have talked about him moving into HER house that SHE bought and he still doesn't think that he should pay the amount that she proposed to him which was 800 bucks...who lives anywhere these days for less than $800/per month? Come on....what happened to the man being the provider? Wanting to take care of his family and being the head of his household even if the woman makes more money? I mean damn, what happened to Pride, Class and Dignity? I told her that I didn't think she was being irrational because he didn't even ATTEMPT to TRY to discuss what he could possibly do to help her. I mean I understand if you don't have it but to just flat out tell me NO and you rolling over every morning looking at me...HA!

I understand we live in a society now where women are VERY independent and we have no problem taking care of ourselves. Hell, I don't think I've ever asked a man to do anything for me. Well, outside of my daddy but that's different.(lol) But I think about my Mother and even my Grandmother(I miss her so much) and how they never really had to worry about least not financially. I know that there are still men out there that thrive off of "providing" for their girlfriend or wife but should we as women expect that from a man? Are we becoming TOO independent to the point where men feel as if we don't need them for ANYTHING?


Sunday, October 04, 2009

Reinvention of Self via the Internet

I'm sitting here on the rainy night with nothing to do so I decided to surf the net. You know...the norm, Facebook, Twitter.(lol) As I'm doing this I'm realizing that there are some real life Internet Superstars and Gangsters! I couldn't help it, I had to write about's getting out hand. Don't get me wrong, I do believe that these social networking sites should be used to network and promote whatever your trying to do. And I definitely believe in the betterment of self...but come on people! I am so tired of internet beef...are you serious?!? I'm noticing that the majority of people that are shit talkers and shit starters are the people that no one even knew existed a couple of years ago. Are they doing this for attention? For so-called fame? I just don't get it. Do they have low self-esteem? Ok, so I'm guilty of roaming on pages of people that I don't know..but I can't help it, I'm nosey(lol) but that's as far as I go. And in regards to that, why do people put there personal business out there for everyone to see, some things should remain just that..PERSONAL! I said all that to say this...if you're going to be a certain way, be that way all the time. You should't be one person via the net and another person in the streets..NOT COOL. Be comfortable in your own skin and F what other people think..WHO CARES?!! That is all...

Goodnight Beautiful People

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


My heart is so heavy right now...

I waited as long as I could to view the video that the media has been showing of the beating death of Derrion Albert, the teen that was recently killed in Chicago. It just wasn't something that I cared to watch. But, as I was lying in bed tonight, I decided to go ahead and see what everyone had been talking about. The tears began to flow as I watched that young man's lifeless body being carried into the school by his fellow classmates. How can a person take another's life?!? He was 16 years old! Why does this continue to happen to our youth? Our people? I am upset with myself because I'm not doing anything but reading about it and shaking my head! This has to STOP! I am tired of reading about my young black men and women getting killed and going to prison....and for what? GANG VIOLENCE?! That is so played! Not only is it happening in Chicago, it's happening in our communities all across this country. It's happenning in my backyard. What's even worse is the fact that we only hear about the incidents that are covered by the media. There are so many more lives that are being taken that we just don't hear about. What can we do? When I look at the percentage of our young black males that are incarcerated it makes me sick to my stomach. In 2008, 37% of all incarcerated males were black, that was down from 41% in 2007.

I've been reading a lot of comments regarding this incident and many people are blaming the parents. I'm not so sure I fully agree. True, there are a lot of parents out there that allow the streets to raise their kids, but on the flip side there are some parents that do the best they can. Some of these parents are working just so they can make ends meet and unfortunately, that child gets neglected. That is why we need programs to give these kids an outlet, a way to express themselves, a way for them to stay off the streets. It takes funding in order to get these programs going. Where is our government?? How is it that this is happening in our country? America...The Land of Opportunity. Really?

Monday, September 28, 2009

Friends....How Many of Us Have Them?

After talking to a really good friend of mine yesterday, I realized that we sometimes take for granted the people that God has put in our lives. I am so thankful to know that I have friends and family that love and support me no matter what. Most people learn at an early age that there is a major difference between friends and associates, unfortunately it takes some a little longer than others. It makes me sad to think that some people go through life without knowing what it feels like to have someone accept and love them for who they are. Not because of what you can do for them, how much money you have, your so called status, etc. but just because you are YOU. Just like any other relationship you might have misunderstandings or diasgreements, but true friendship will withstand almost anything. Several people have come into my life, but I can count my real friends on one hand. I honestly believe that everyone comes in your life for a reason and after they serve there purpose, their time is up! It may sound harsh but it's true. Some people just aren't meant to stay in your life forever. Cherish your true friendships and the REAL people that you have in your life.

Ironically, I checked my email after I finished my entry and this was in my inbox....

"Sometimes, in order to embrace the destiny God has in store, you have to be willing to make some changes in your life. You have to be willing to examine where you are and what you need to move forward. This may mean you need to change some friends that you're spending time with. Maybe they were fine for a season in your life, but you've outgrown them. This is a new season, and in order for you to rise higher, you have to break away from relationships that are limiting you. You have to develop some new friendships with people who are going to pull you up and inspire you to rise higher. I've found if you're the smartest one in your group, your group is too small. Find people who are smarter than you are, people who will challenge you to stretch to the next level and become everything God's created you to be. Remember, he who walks with the wise becomes wise. Choose your friends wisely so that you can walk and live in the destiny God has in store for you." - Joel Osteen

Weird, right?! I know!

Until next time....

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Love Makes the World Go 'Round.....

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You
I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it's you the one I love;I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.
Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel Ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one whoDies,
the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood. -Pablo Neruda

Whew! That was deep! This is a poem that I can read over and over again and feel as if it was written just for me. It captures all the feelings that I have inside. Love is a powerful emotion. One minute you can feel as though you are floating in the clouds and the next minute you feel like you're life is going to end. Some would say that "love is like a drug" but really, for some individuals, this can turn out to be true. Check out this article from

I've fallen in love, out of love and back in love again.(lol) It's a feeling that words can't describe. A feeling that only you can experience for yourself. Anyone that knows me, knows that Love Jones is my favorite movie of all times. I joke all the time that I'm waiting to find my Darius Lovehall. Ha! But seriously, I believe this movie depicts a REAL relationship. Sometimes it's not going to make sense. You're not going to be happy 100% of the time. However, the bad times should never outweigh the good. When two people love each other, they are willing to fight to make it work. Compromise! For instance, if you're in a long distance relationship, that could mean moving out of you're comfort zone in order to make it work with your mate. And PLEASE understand that love is also an action. You can't just say it and leave it at that. Put some action behind those words! Give it a something out of the norm. I can almost guarantee success!
At this very moment I'm missing someone that I love dearly, but I had to let go. Right now I feel as though I lost the fight. Do I still love him? Yes. Does he love me? Yes. But, like I said before, sometimes it doesn't make sense. Maybe right now isn't the time for us but I'm content with knowing that I experienced true love. And that my dear, is priceless.

Until next time......

Friday, September 25, 2009

Slow Down.....

When I reached the young and tender age of 27, I realized that I might be going through what some might call a "quarter-life crisis." Yes, it can happen and it's something that I struggle with on a day-to-day basis. As you continue to read this, you might realize that you are going through the exact same thing.....

On my 27th birthday, I realized that I am nowhere near where I thought I would be at this age. After I graduated from college, my plans for life seemed so clear. Get a great job in Corporate America, obtain my Masters degree, marry a wonderful man, and have a child. Is that what I really wanted or did society lead me to believe that is what I should want? Hmmm....interesting. I struggle everyday with trying to figure out what I want to do in life and how my existence could make a difference in this world. I just didn't think it would take 27 years and counting to figure it out. I've changed jobs twice since graduation, which isn't that bad compared to some of my peers. However, I have yet to wake up and say to myself "I love what I do!" Nope, not once. So, I decided last Fall, to go back to school to pursue my Masters. More money and more education = Stability, right? But will I be happy in the end? Is this really what I want to do or does it just seem like the right thing to do? And as far as finding that wonderful man,well, I'll save that for another blog entry. When I look around and realize that the majority of my friends are either married with a child or children, engaged or at least have a child, it sometimes makes me sad. It's scary to think that I might be alone for the rest of my life...who wants that? I don't want to be THAT woman that has the career and the all the material things that comes along with it, but goes home every night to a lonely existence. That's not the life that I envisioned for myself. And to be quite honest, I don't think that's the life that God has planned for me.

But I think I figured out the problem(yea, dont' we all). I believe we as human beings always have that urge to see into the future. We want to get to the prize at the end instead of just enjoying the ride. Even though I do become discouraged at times, I am slowly but surely realizing that life is a beautiful journey and everyday is a gift. Remember, this "quarter-life crisis" won't last forever....there's still that possibility of going through a "mid-life crisis." But look on the the bright side, maybe by then we would have found our place in the world. Enjoy your journey and live everyday like it's your last.

Until next time.....