Saturday, August 25, 2012

I'M THIIIIIRRRRTY!! *insert screams here*

I’ve missed you guys and I’ve definitely missed writing and telling you all my business! I’ve decided to re-introduce myself to the blogging world by discussing my current life and what I like to call….30, Single and HAPPY! The funny thing is I wasn’t so sure about the happy part, until recently.  In the months approaching my 30th birthday, as many of you have done or will do, I started to do A LOT of thinking and soul searching. I asked myself a few questions, “Are you happy where you are in life right now?” Are there some things that you would like to change? If so, how and when do you plan on making those changes?” “Have you forgiven those individuals that hurt you in the past?” “Are you constantly working to better yourself?” Ok, so the list goes on and on but you get the picture.  After asking myself all of these questions and answering them honestly, I realized that I was at good point in my life but I have a lot of growing to do. Was I disappointed in myself for not being where I thought I would be at 30? HELL NO! I had to realize that I was planning my life based on what everyone else figured I should be doing, comparing myself to others (which is, by the way, the ABSOLUTE worst thing you can EVER do). Never compare yourself to someone nor question yourself as to why you are not at the same point in your life that they are in their life. If you want to live in depression for the rest of your life then ,by all means, be my guest and COMPARE ON! But if you want to live a peaceful and happy life just go at your own pace and live YOUR OWN life. You never know what that other individual had to do to get what they have or get to the point that they are in their life.

Now let me talk about this single and 30 situation, which seems to be a hot topic these days. Yes, I thought I would be married by now with at least one kid but I’m not and guess what?? I’m ok with that. I would rather be single than be in a dysfunctional relationship with a weirdo…not really my thing. But seriously, it might sound cliché but honestly I can do bad by myself. I don’t need any help in that department. Do people continuously ask why I’m single? Yes, of course. Have I gotten the “Awww you’ll be ok” look? Yep, plenty of times! Have I had old and dusty individuals pop up from my past trying to rekindle something? Uh, yea and to them I say “NO THANKS!” I can’t speak for everyone but for me going backwards has never yielded positive results. I’m not going to lie to you and say that I don’t get lonely at times…I’m human. However, I’m not lonely enough to settle for some of the foolishness that comes along with having a warm body laying next to me, especially if that warm body isn’t waking up and going to a damn job and/or  hustling and grinding (legally of course) to turn their dreams into reality. WOOSAH! At 30 years young, my definition of “sexy” takes on a whole new meaning. AMBITION is sexy. DRIVE is sexy. BEING RESPONSIBLE is sexy. BEING EDUCATED is sexy. On the other hand, waking up at noon, rolling up (speaking in hood terms) and playing video games all day….eh, not so much. thumbs down  Now between the ages of 18-23 that could’ve possibly been cute to me but at this point in my life health insurance is cute to me. steps off soap box My mother recently asked me if had been praying for God to bring the right man into my life and to allow me to recognize him….and my answer to her was this “Uh, actually I haven’t but I’ll let you know when I do so you can join in” (lol) My mom and I have a very close relationship so my response to her was appropriate. Honestly, I haven’t prayed for a man because God isn’t done with me yet. He has to help me get myself together first and we’ll worry about the other stuff later. The bottom line is that if you are single and 30 or over 30 please hide the razors and put the pill bottle down. It’s not the end of the world and actually you might be happier.

So many things have changed in my life. My circle of friends has gotten smaller (THANK GOD). My bills have gotten more expensive. I’ve had to become more responsible. Basically, I'm just GROWN as hell. But most importantly my mindset has changed. There are so many things I want to accomplish in my life and life is so short. I no longer have the mindset of “I have my entire life to do that…” We have no idea how long we are here on this Earth and it’s very important that you you’re life with that in mind. Do something outside of your comfort zone. I’ve been thinking very seriously lately about moving. Leaving this city, in which I born, behind. For those people that have asked me “Why?” my response is “Why not?” As long as there are planes, trains and automobiles and I can get to my family there is no reason for me not to venture out and see what else is out there for me. Of course it’s scary, but if you live your life in fear you’re not really living. In 30 years I’ve learned so many life lessons and each year I’m alive I learn more and more about myself. So, at the 30 I am happy, I am content but I will NEVER be satisfied. I will ALWAYS strive to be better.

Until next time.