Monday, December 28, 2009

Where Did the L.O.V.E Go?

"We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find." -Unknown

When I was younger, my grandmother would always say "Baby, the love will long as he's paying the bills you stay right there..." Really Granny?? (May her sweet soul rest in peace) But seriously, a lot of older women and some young women, still say things like this and really believe everything that what they are saying is true! And the one that I hate the most..."Make sure he loves you more than you love him" Now, how does that really make sense? My mother would tell me that all the time and for a minute I started believing her.  I mean, I honestly started thinking...are all the couples that I see together really meant to be together or did they just settle for each other because they couldn't be with the person that they really wanted? Should I just settle for the man that loves me more than I love him(if I love him at all...)?? I try to look at everything, for the most part, from a logical standpoint and I just don't see the logic in being with someone that loves and cares for me more than I love and care for him. Isn't that sort of selfish? Shouldn't he have the right to be with the person that does have those same feelings for him? But would he love her as much as he loves me? Or would he even love her at all? See what I'm saying? Is anyone with who they really want to be with? The unfortunate twist to any relationship is that one person may feel as if you they've found their soulmate but the other person may not feel that way.

I'm single for a's quite simple...I just haven't found the right man. Now some would ask the question, is the "right one" really out there? I believe so, the RIGHT one for me, that is! If I just wanted to be with any 'ole Joe Schmo that wouldn't be a problem, but I want to be with that person that loves me as much as I love him. Am I crazy to believe that I still have an opportunity to find love? I don't know...maybe, maybe not. Should I just be with someone based on what they can do for me and learn to love them over time? What if I never learn to love that person?? I guess that's the risk I'm suppose to take...NOT! So many times I hear women talking about how much money a man has or his social status,but what happens if he loses all of that? Will you still love him? What if the material things no longer exist?? Could you still see yourself "learning" to love him? I honestly believe that these are all valid questions. I just can't see myself being with someone solely on the basis of what he can do for me or how HE feels about ME. Ok, so he cares about me, I'm flattered. But if my heart's not in it there is nothing that he can do for me or say to me that will make me change my mind. Once again, this might sound crazy to some but hey, I'm entitled to my own opinion.

I just believe that we now live in a world of convenience where more and more relationships and marriages are being treated as business deals...nothing more, nothing less. Where did the love go? Lord help us all! Anyway...this is my point.....don't give up on true love. And when I say that I mean that undying love that exist between a man and a woman. Don't allow yourself to believe that you should settle for less than what you deserve...not cool. Don't allow someone to tell you to find someone that loves you more than you love them...there should be a balance in your relationship. There is nothing worse than having someone tell you that they love you and you have to struggle to say those words back to them. I know what it feels like to say those words when the feeling isn't really there....worst feeling ever. Just a little food for thought...

Until next time....

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Why Do Men Cheat??...The REAL Reason(s)

This whole Tiger Woods fiasco really has me thinking....what is the real reason why men cheat? Is it because of some type of mental imbalance or is it simply because they become bored being with one woman? I know this is the million dollar question to which all women want to know the answer but this topic is very intriguing to me. Why do men cheat? Ok, so Tiger had not only one woman on the side, but he had like 10 other women!! Who does that? I mean, why get married? No, seriously. If you know you love women, why get married or get in a relationship and make someone's life miserable by cheating on her. Make no sense to me!

Now, clearly Tiger lost himself out there and the fact that he surrounded himself by such individuals as Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley doesn't say much for him. Jordan's ex-wife, Juanita, received $168 million in their divorce settlement...I'll just take a wild guess and say that it probably would've been cheaper to keep her...but that's just me. But let's forget about the money for a minute(well at least try). Why risk losing your family and jeopardizing your intergrity for a piece of ass?? I just don't get it! Can someone please explain? I was just using Tiger as an example because he was risking a lot more than the average man simply because of who he is, but let's discuss the average man. You know, the guy that goes to work everyday or "hustles" to make a living. Let's talk about him. Now, from a logical standpoint I would think that it would be much easier to be single and just date several women rather than being in a relationship or getting married and having to keep up with lies that you will be forced to tell. But there again....that's just me. However, I've talked to several men that admit to cheating and this is what they tell ready for this? They love their girlfriend/wife and they know that's who they want to be with, but sometimes when it's right in front of you it's hard to say no. Huh? So, you're a grown ass man with no self-control? Oh ok. That's that bullshit! Ok, so my question still stands....why commit?? If you love that person like you say you do, why risk hurting them? I'm a woman but I can only speak for myself when I say that I would much rather a man love me and respect me enough to tell that he's just not ready to commit versus him being with me and CHEATING! Negative! The worst thing you can do is cheat on me and then tell me..."but I love you girl" Love should've brought your ass home last night...ha! I always wanted to say that! But really, how do love someone and be dishonest at the same time? How does that work? I know love and relationships can be a little tricky but damn...some things should just be common sense. Maybe I'm being naive, who knows!

I know this is a very interesting topic but I really want feedback from my brothas! Fill your girl in and let me know the real...I'm waiting! lol

Until next time....

Monday, December 14, 2009

My Test of Faith...

I haven't posted anything on here in awhile..I missed writing! I know most of my posts usually have to do with love and relationships but this time I felt compelled to change it up a bit. Most recently I haven't been feeling very well, partly due to stress(Note: Stress can kill you!). I was experiencing chest pains, shortness of breath, and many other symptoms that lead me to believe I was dying!(Dramatic..I know) I had to go to the ER twice and no one could tell me about scared. Actually, scared may not be the best word....I was petrified! But, let me start from the all started after I went to the doctor and she told me that she saw some blockage in my heart...WTH? Blockage? I'm only 27 years old and I exercise on a regular basis...ok, so my diet isn't the best but it's not the worst. Anyway, she referred me to a cardiologist just to make sure it wasnt anything serious. The first thought that came to my mind was "I'm too young to die!" There are so many things I haven't accomplished! But, age has nothing to at all to do with it. Of course, when I left her office and I got in my car, I started crying. I didn't know what else to do!  Moving on...I scheduled an appointment with the cardiologist and they ran all these tests on me to make sure that there was nothing seriously wrong with my heart or lungs. They noticed that my pulmonary artery was enlarged but he assured me that it was nothing to worry about. I promise I have never in my life prayed the way I've prayed in the last couple of weeks. I didn't want to talk to anybody but God because I knew He was the only one that could bring me through this. I knew this was a test of my faith and I wasn't going to allow the devil to take over my mind or my body.

When all this was happening, I started to think about what was really important. I thought about all the people in my life that I love and cherish. I can only speak for myself when I say that it took something like this to open my eyes to life and what matters the most. Life is too short to worry about things that don't matter or those things that we cannot change. I had a habit of dwelling on the past...I couldn't help it! I often wondered why things turned out a certain way or what I couldn've done to change the outcome. Who does that?? ME! What I had to realize is the past is the past and that's that. The present and the future are the only two moments of time that I should care about. One thing is for relationship with God is much stronger and this has truly shown me that with Him by side I can handle anything that the devil throws my way. I know that I am truly blessed and right now my happiness and good health mean more to me than anything.

I thought I would keep it short and simple with this

Thanks for listening....