Monday, June 28, 2010

The Pretty Dark Skinned Chick, huh...You Can't Do Better Than That? *Side Eyes*

In the last couple of weeks I have been hearing more and more people speak on the issue of the "color complex" that is still very prevalent in the African American community. This is a topic that is very dear to my heart because I know all too well what it feels like to be singled out for being the "dark skinned girl." You see, people feel like they are doing me a favor by calling me the "pretty dark skinned girl" but they really have no idea how ignorant they sound. And I absolutely hate when people describe a person to me by saying.."she's really pretty...she's light skinned with light eyes.." Ummm since when does that equal pretty? Just asking. True story...I went out to a club a couple of weeks ago and a random young man(he was of the lighter skintone...lol)just felt it necessary to come up to me and say "you are a beautiful brown skin girl..." The crazy part about is that he wasn't even trying to talk to me...he just said that and walked off! *blank stare* I was so confused but to be honest that wasn't the first time that has happened to me. I personally think the shit is sad. Am I supposed to be flattered? Thanks but no thanks. I know we are not the only race that deals this issue...this can been seen in other cultures as well, but right now I'm talking about my personal experience within my own race.

A few years ago I a read book entitled Color Complex and it really opened my eyes to how we as a people, sometimes view each other. One particular man (described as being "very dark skinned")displayed in this book would actually date light-skin damn near white women, but he would get angry at the fact that they were lighter than him. He would actually beat these women and marvle at the different colors of the bruises on their body. Sick, huh? In the eyes of many, the lighter the skin the prettier the person which is an awful way to think. But of course we know that this goes back to slavery days where the dark skinned slaves worked in the field while the "house negroes" were more often lighter skintone. And even after that we had the "brown paper bag test". For those of you are unaware of the "brown paper bag" test was a ritual that was performed that decided whether or not you were accepted into certain fraternities and sororities. If you were darker than the paper bag you would not be accepted. Remember the movie School Daze?  The Wannabees and the Jigaboos...Intersting, huh? I know but it's real.

 Gabrielle Union did an interview with Global Grind awhile ago and she touched on her insecurities as a dark skinned black woman. She talked about being dumped in high school for the light skinned girl and feeling a sense a fear whenever a light skinned woman would walk into the room. Whew...That's deep! But that just goes to show you that no matter the amount of money a person may have they are still human and EVERYONE, whether they say it or not, has insecurities. I know I do! But I can honestly say that I embrace who I am and I have never felt inferior to anyone because they were white, red, yellow, green...well, you get the picture. Anyone that knows me knows that I think that Nia Long is gorgeous and but so is Lauren London. But that's the beauty of it...we come in so many different beautiful shades and colors...how could you not embrace them all?? Of course, people are entitled to like what they like and everyone has a different idea of what they view as being attractive. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that! My problem is the seperation of our race and the judgment that is placed based on skin color and the ignorance that goes along with that. Come on people it's 2010...really? Are we really still on this? Let's get it together and do better!

I could go on and on about the subject but I'll get off my soapbox for now!

Peace and Blessings

Until Next Time....

5 comments:

khaki la'docker said...

this was a great post! Even i, as a light skinned woman, is offended when I hear someone say that so and so is a pretty dark girl. Its just plain ignorant.

Shunda said...

Indeed! Some people just don't realize the seperation that still exist within our own race! It's crazy!

Erin said...

Ughghgh, Okay I have the' "Your cute to be dark skinned" so called compliment before, and just because ur are dark skinned they dont think your hair could be long and real. Its crazy, I all mad now girl guughg .

K. Crump said...

This is an excellent post Shunda. Very well put and worded in perfection to what goes on till this day. Something I never told anyone is I had a problem with being dark-skin when I was younger. Reason being is because my light-skin friends would attract the girls quicker. Im over it now but I feel this is a curse as black people we need to break. Keep up the good work babe!-K.Crump

Real Housewives of Fashion said...

Great Post!