Brokenhearted...

On this rainy Sunday morning at 1:02am, I am experiencing how it feels to have a broken heart. My heart is broken because I finally realized that the person that I loved never really loved me. And of course, I blame myself for dealing with the bs for so long and making excuses for him and the dumb things that he said and did. I had myself believing that I couldn't be happy with anyone if that person wasn't him. And the sad part is the fact that I know my self-worth...I know I'm a beautiful person inside and out....I know I deserve all the happiness that my heart can hold BUT love is an interesting thing. It will have you doing and saying things that are totally out of character. Trust me...I know. I tried to walk away so many times...each time I stayed away a little longer than the time before. Unfortunately, it doesn't matter if you stay away for a year, if your not completely over the situation in your heart, time doesn't matter. But what I can't understand is if you know you don't love a person and you can't give them what they want or need, why continue to place yourself in their life? That's the part that really upsets me. In my world where humans reside, it is not ok to tell a person that you don't want a relationship but you still want some of the benefits of being in a relationship. Really? When did this become acceptable? But that goes back to a post I did awhile back regarding women making it to easy for men when it comes to relationships.

My mother always told me that love isn't always easy, sometimes it takes putting up a fight if it's someone that you really want and I believe that. But you know what, you also have to know when to throw in the towel. You have to know when to say "I tried but enough is enough". Never love someone so much that you lose site of self in the process. I've said this so many times but I feel it's necessary to say it again....Love is an action. If you choose to say to someone "I love you" please be ready to put some action behind those words. If you know you can't, don't say those words until you know deep down in your heart that is truly how you feel and you are ready to show and prove each day that God gives you life. Some people don't realize the value that those three little words hold. You must admit, when that special someone utters those three words, a feeling comes over you that is undescribable. But when that person continues to say those words but their actions are the complete opposite, that's a feeling that I would't wish on my worst enemy.

The one thing that makes me happy about this entire situation is the fact that I know it wasn't in vain. I know that God would never take me through something that He didn't think I could handle. Every situation that has ever caused me hurt or pain has always made me a stronger person. In everything that I go through I learn from it and the knowledge that I gain is priceless. So, to anyone that may be going through a similiar situation or anyone that is going through a tough time, know that what you thought you lost is nothing compared to what God has in store for you...and it's right around the corner. Just be patient......

Thanks for listening....Goodnight.

"I Think I Love Him...Oh Nevermind...He's White" Part I

Lately I've been having some heated discussions regarding interracial dating. This topic is very interesting to me and can often be viewed as controversial. Everyone has their reason(s) as to why black and white people people should not race mix when it comes to relationships. Let's look deeper into the reason as to why we shouldn't. Is it because society says it's not "right"? Or is it because you feel that you will be perceived as a traitor who has turned his/her back on your own people? Or is it because you have been told my your peers that you couldn't possibly have anything in common with "them"?  These are just a few of the thoughts that I believe have crossed the mind of almost every black person that has ever considered dating a white person. However, I've had some people tell me that they have no problem with interracial dating but the buck stops there...no marriage, no kids. Huh? If that's the case why even date? I mean, what if you decide that you really like this person? What would you tell him/her? "I like you and you're cool but I can't get too involved because you're white..." Ok...moving on....

 Let me ask you this....have you ever wondered why you see more black men with white women and less black women with white men?  Everyone has their theory on why this happens...it could be because white women are thought to be more passive or it could be the fact that some black men have a "color complex" and often times light skinned black women just aren't light enough. Or what about this one...."black women have never supported me" I could go on and on but I have my own theory and it's quite simple. Black men don't analyze shit the way we do...simple as that. A woman is a woman....Black, Latino, Asian, etc. Whatever! Now, I'm not saying that all brothas think like this but I have come in contact with far too many that do. So, here's my question...why do we("we" meaning black women) limit ourselves on the possibility of finding love because we are afraid of how we might be perceived by society. Now, wait a minute, don't get your panties in a wad..(lol) Some women just aren't attracted to white men and they feel they have nothing in common...they still have hopes of finding their strong, black man that they feel was created for just for them and they don't intend on giving up until they find him...that's what's up! Ok, so does that mean that we should stop complaining that we're single? I'm just wondering if we thought outside the box for a minute and explored other options, would more of us be married? But then again, I don't care if he's black, white, red or yellow....ignorance is universal and the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I'm just saying....

This is a subject that I could talk about for days but I'll leave you with this....I personally have thought about dating outside my race but that doesn't mean that I don't have a deep love for my brothas( a VERY deep love) lol. I'm just saying that maybe it's time for me to start thinking outside the box and exploring other options but that's a BIG HUGE MAYBE! lol. But I would never judge someone because they found love and it just happened to be someone of the opposite race. I support finding true love...point blank period.

To be continued....

Oh and please share your thoughts on this subject! I'm interested to hear how you all feel about this....

No Resolutions...Just a Few Changes

10 Things I Challenge You to Do in 2010....

1. Be True to Yourself!.....Dont Be a Pretender, It's Not a Good Look.

2. Love Yourself!.......If You Don't Then Who Will?

3. Say "I Love You" to at least one Person per Day.......Spreading Love Heals the Heart!

4. Give off Positive Energy.......What You Give is What You Receive!

5. Take Care of Your Body....Your Body is Your Temple, Don't Abuse It.

6. Leave the Words "Can't" and "But" Out of Your Vocabulary...WINNERS Don't Use These Words!

7. Give Back.....Your Community Needs You.

8. Find Your Passion in Life.....Now You're On the Right Path To Knowing Your Purpose.

9. Travel to Places You've Never Been.....Thank me Later!

and lastly.... the  MOST IMPORTANT of them all...

10. PRAY and MEDITATE!....This Leads to Peace and Peace Leads To HAPPINESS

I don't have any resolutions this year but there are a few things I am taking the necessary steps to change. The 10 things that you read above are things that I am challenging myself to do in my own personal life and I challenge you to do the same.

Happy New Year!

Until Next Time...