Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Happiness.......What's the True Meaning?

Have you ever just been TIRED? No, I mean really TIRED, just FED UP!! Well, I think, scratch that, I know I'm at that point. I'm sitting here now with red eyes from restlessness and my night isn't even over. Wow! Between school, a stressful job, not to mention LIFE in general, I don't know how much more I can take! No, I'm not contemplating suicide(lol) I love myself too much! And I know this is the story of millions but why is that? Why is it that we don't take enough time for ourselves to do the things that really make us happy. Wait, do we even know what it is that makes us happy? I mean really, don't fake the funk, be real with me. We spend so much time and money getting these degrees in professions that half of us are unhappy with. That may not be the case with everyone, but that's for damn sure the case with me. But does that really make sense? I'm just saying. Think about what really makes you happy. That thing that makes you smile and gets you excited everytime you think about doing it. Now, the downside to this is that whatever "that thing" might be, you may not be able to turn that into a profession that makes you the money to carry on the lifestyle that you are used to having. What to do?! Do you just continue on with your unhappy existence or do you make a move to do something about it? No, I'm not telling you to up and quit your job, that's not a smart move if you don't have a Plan B.(lol) But I am telling you to find what makes you happy. For instance, when I started this blog there people that thought I was joking(including my mother) because they had no idea I could write.(lol) The funny thing is that I started this blog as a form of therapy for myself. It allows me to express my thoughts and topics on issues that I know other people think about. I had no idea that other people would be interested in reading what I write. I say all that to say...I'm not going to quit my job(at least not yet) to become a professional blogger, but when I have a bad day at work(which turns out to be pretty much everyday) sharing my thoughts and feelings with you all makes me feel better. What more can I say?

Life is too short! Do whatever makes you happy and push all that doubt and negativity our of your head. I honestly believe that life is all about choices...we all have the right to do what makes us happy but it's up to you to make that happen. I challenge everyone reading this to find that one thing(might be more but I like to start slow lol) that makes you happy and go for it! Stop thinking about it and JUST DO IT!!

That's all folks!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

"Relationship? Why Would He Do That?"

Are women making it too easy for men these days? I ask that question because I'm really confused. (lol) It seems like these days men don't even think about having a monogamous relationship. I'm starting to believe that they think if they view you as being the "main chick" you should be content with that. Really? When did this become ok? I'm just saying...There was a time when a relationship meant one man being with one woman. Now, you have men, and some women, that make it perfectly clear that you are number one but there are a few others on the side. Some of you may be shaking your heads right now, but you know I'm telling the truth.

Seriously, even though we say to ourselves "I would never allow a man to do me that way" or "If I can't be the only one in your life I don't want to be with you at all" can you honestly say that you've never considered being in a "fake relationship" just for the sake of being alone? Man I tell ya, when that loneliness kicks in you start having some strange thoughts. (lol) Sometimes we enter into the position of the "main chick" thinking we can change the man and persuade him into making us the only woman...WRONG! A man will not change until he's good and damn ready and if you go into it knowing what it is and what it's going to be...it's hard to turn that into a positive for you. He will forever use the famous line of "well you knew I didn't want a commitment when you started dealing with me" and of course then we have to comeback with "Yes, but I thought things would change!" Why did you think that? Have you ever heard the famous phrase "Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free" Sure you have! Well why commit when you can have all the benefits of a relationship without ever actually having to be in a relationship? Make sense now? I just don't understand how some women pride themselves in being the "main girl".....If he's dealing with both or all of them wouldn't they all be considered the "side chick"? Let me know...I can be slow at times! (lol) I can speak from experience when I say that even though in the beginning you may have an "understanding", unless you are an all out whore, which I'm sure is not the case, it is just a matter of time before that "understanding" goes completely out the door. Just be careful!

I guess what I'm trying to say to all my single ladies is this....DON"T SETTLE! You're beautiful...you're self worth is priceless and there is someone out there that will recognize that sooner or later! When they look at you and only you, they will see love and that my dear is well worth the wait!

Until next time....

Monday, November 09, 2009

A Special Thanks to Dr. Booker T. Washington....

This past weekend I attended the Homecoming of my Alma Mater..Tuskegee University! I become excited everytime I think about all the young, educated African-American males and females that were together in one place showing mad love towards one another. My experience at Skegee was priceless...I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Of course, there are certain things that I probably should've done differently, but everything happens for a reason...right? (lol)  I was amazed at how some people hadn't changed at all, but on the hand, there were some people that had done a complete 180...now that was funny.  I certainly saw a few people that made me think to myself  "What the hell was I thinking? Why did I not talk to him?" (lol)  But I only pondered for about 2 minutes...then I got over it!

I have several friends that did not attend an HBCU and I joke with them all the time that they missed out on a life-changing experience. Now don't get it twisted...Skegee definitely had her flaws! Having no lights or air during the middle of the summer in 110 degree weather.....running from roaches that were the size of a child.... standing in the registration line for hours at a time and then having to deal with attitudes from Registrar....BUT I honestly believe that having to endure those things changed me for the better.

 When I entered in as a freshman, I had life all fucked  oops... messed up! lol I really thought the world revolved around me and nothing else mattered. Materialistic was not the word for me...actually I don't have a word that could really describe my attitude back then. I came from a place where everyone had the same look, the same way of thinking....basically just on some dumb ish! The sad part is some people are still on the same thing they were on back then...absolutely no growth. Skegee saved my life! lol No, but seriously, I was introduced to so many different types of people and so many different ways of thinking. It felt so good to be able to walk down the street and speak to 30 people without ever knowing their name, but it didn't matter! On any given day you could hear dialogue from the West Coast, the Midwest, the East Coast, the Bahamas...that's crazy! From..."What up Joe?" to "That's Hella Crazy" to What's Good Son?" Man, y'all got me over here really reminiscing! (lol) This weekend brought back a lot of those memories and for that I am thankful. I am thankful for the friendships and bonds that were developed that will forever remain regardless of distance or time. I am thankful for my TUSKEGEE EXPERIENCE!

That is all....

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

When Is it Time To Let Go?

My mother always told me to never go backwards in a relationship....I SHOULD'VE LISTENED! Seriously, why do we always end up going back even though we know the situation is bad for us? Why is it so hard to let go? Sometimes when we are involved with a person for a substantial amount of time, we feel that we have invested too much time to walk away. But does that really make sense? Hmmmm..

It's so funny to me how we can say so many times,"I'm done!" but we see that person or receive a phone call or text and it's back on! Whatever happened to "Just say no"? (lol) But seriously, I think we as women, and I won't leave out the brothas, have to understand that it has to be over in your heart as well as your mind for it to REALLY be over. We can say all day that we are done with an individual but if you're heart is still in it...you're not done. You have to be totally at peace with the situation for it to be over. The key to letting go is TIME! Don't rush it. If you want to continue to do the back and forth thing because you still have hopes that things will change...do it! No one should judge you for wanting to do that. It's ok to take the advice of your friends(I do it all the time lol) but at the end of day let the decision be yours and yours only. Letting go is hard but one thing that I know to be true..when you're done, you're done and there is nothing anyone can say or do to change your mind. Sometimes it takes getting tired and fed up with a situaion in order for you to leave.

I decided to do this post because I've seen so many situations(including my own)where individuals have wasted so much time and energy on someone that didn't deserve them in the first place. But because they were in love with the person they didn't want to let go. They didn't want to let go of that hope that one day things would change and they would live happily ever after. Not saying that's impossible but you can't force it. If something is meant to be it will be and if that person is meant for you, they will come back to you. Now, whether or not you take them back is all on you! (lol) But to all my beautiful people, love yourself first and foremost and everything else will fall in place.

Until next time....