Tuesday, September 29, 2009


My heart is so heavy right now...

I waited as long as I could to view the video that the media has been showing of the beating death of Derrion Albert, the teen that was recently killed in Chicago. It just wasn't something that I cared to watch. But, as I was lying in bed tonight, I decided to go ahead and see what everyone had been talking about. The tears began to flow as I watched that young man's lifeless body being carried into the school by his fellow classmates. How can a person take another's life?!? He was 16 years old! Why does this continue to happen to our youth? Our people? I am upset with myself because I'm not doing anything but reading about it and shaking my head! This has to STOP! I am tired of reading about my young black men and women getting killed and going to prison....and for what? GANG VIOLENCE?! That is so played! Not only is it happening in Chicago, it's happening in our communities all across this country. It's happenning in my backyard. What's even worse is the fact that we only hear about the incidents that are covered by the media. There are so many more lives that are being taken that we just don't hear about. What can we do? When I look at the percentage of our young black males that are incarcerated it makes me sick to my stomach. In 2008, 37% of all incarcerated males were black, that was down from 41% in 2007.

I've been reading a lot of comments regarding this incident and many people are blaming the parents. I'm not so sure I fully agree. True, there are a lot of parents out there that allow the streets to raise their kids, but on the flip side there are some parents that do the best they can. Some of these parents are working just so they can make ends meet and unfortunately, that child gets neglected. That is why we need programs to give these kids an outlet, a way to express themselves, a way for them to stay off the streets. It takes funding in order to get these programs going. Where is our government?? How is it that this is happening in our country? America...The Land of Opportunity. Really?

Monday, September 28, 2009

Friends....How Many of Us Have Them?

After talking to a really good friend of mine yesterday, I realized that we sometimes take for granted the people that God has put in our lives. I am so thankful to know that I have friends and family that love and support me no matter what. Most people learn at an early age that there is a major difference between friends and associates, unfortunately it takes some a little longer than others. It makes me sad to think that some people go through life without knowing what it feels like to have someone accept and love them for who they are. Not because of what you can do for them, how much money you have, your so called status, etc. but just because you are YOU. Just like any other relationship you might have misunderstandings or diasgreements, but true friendship will withstand almost anything. Several people have come into my life, but I can count my real friends on one hand. I honestly believe that everyone comes in your life for a reason and after they serve there purpose, their time is up! It may sound harsh but it's true. Some people just aren't meant to stay in your life forever. Cherish your true friendships and the REAL people that you have in your life.

Ironically, I checked my email after I finished my entry and this was in my inbox....

"Sometimes, in order to embrace the destiny God has in store, you have to be willing to make some changes in your life. You have to be willing to examine where you are and what you need to move forward. This may mean you need to change some friends that you're spending time with. Maybe they were fine for a season in your life, but you've outgrown them. This is a new season, and in order for you to rise higher, you have to break away from relationships that are limiting you. You have to develop some new friendships with people who are going to pull you up and inspire you to rise higher. I've found if you're the smartest one in your group, your group is too small. Find people who are smarter than you are, people who will challenge you to stretch to the next level and become everything God's created you to be. Remember, he who walks with the wise becomes wise. Choose your friends wisely so that you can walk and live in the destiny God has in store for you." - Joel Osteen

Weird, right?! I know!

Until next time....

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Love Makes the World Go 'Round.....

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You
I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it's you the one I love;I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.
Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel Ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one whoDies,
the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood. -Pablo Neruda

Whew! That was deep! This is a poem that I can read over and over again and feel as if it was written just for me. It captures all the feelings that I have inside. Love is a powerful emotion. One minute you can feel as though you are floating in the clouds and the next minute you feel like you're life is going to end. Some would say that "love is like a drug" but really, for some individuals, this can turn out to be true. Check out this article from cnn.com:


I've fallen in love, out of love and back in love again.(lol) It's a feeling that words can't describe. A feeling that only you can experience for yourself. Anyone that knows me, knows that Love Jones is my favorite movie of all times. I joke all the time that I'm waiting to find my Darius Lovehall. Ha! But seriously, I believe this movie depicts a REAL relationship. Sometimes it's not going to make sense. You're not going to be happy 100% of the time. However, the bad times should never outweigh the good. When two people love each other, they are willing to fight to make it work. Compromise! For instance, if you're in a long distance relationship, that could mean moving out of you're comfort zone in order to make it work with your mate. And PLEASE understand that love is also an action. You can't just say it and leave it at that. Put some action behind those words! Give it a try...do something out of the norm. I can almost guarantee success!
At this very moment I'm missing someone that I love dearly, but I had to let go. Right now I feel as though I lost the fight. Do I still love him? Yes. Does he love me? Yes. But, like I said before, sometimes it doesn't make sense. Maybe right now isn't the time for us but I'm content with knowing that I experienced true love. And that my dear, is priceless.

Until next time......

Friday, September 25, 2009

Slow Down.....

When I reached the young and tender age of 27, I realized that I might be going through what some might call a "quarter-life crisis." Yes, it can happen and it's something that I struggle with on a day-to-day basis. As you continue to read this, you might realize that you are going through the exact same thing.....

On my 27th birthday, I realized that I am nowhere near where I thought I would be at this age. After I graduated from college, my plans for life seemed so clear. Get a great job in Corporate America, obtain my Masters degree, marry a wonderful man, and have a child. Is that what I really wanted or did society lead me to believe that is what I should want? Hmmm....interesting. I struggle everyday with trying to figure out what I want to do in life and how my existence could make a difference in this world. I just didn't think it would take 27 years and counting to figure it out. I've changed jobs twice since graduation, which isn't that bad compared to some of my peers. However, I have yet to wake up and say to myself "I love what I do!" Nope, not once. So, I decided last Fall, to go back to school to pursue my Masters. More money and more education = Stability, right? But will I be happy in the end? Is this really what I want to do or does it just seem like the right thing to do? And as far as finding that wonderful man,well, I'll save that for another blog entry. When I look around and realize that the majority of my friends are either married with a child or children, engaged or at least have a child, it sometimes makes me sad. It's scary to think that I might be alone for the rest of my life...who wants that? I don't want to be THAT woman that has the career and the all the material things that comes along with it, but goes home every night to a lonely existence. That's not the life that I envisioned for myself. And to be quite honest, I don't think that's the life that God has planned for me.

But I think I figured out the problem(yea, dont' we all). I believe we as human beings always have that urge to see into the future. We want to get to the prize at the end instead of just enjoying the ride. Even though I do become discouraged at times, I am slowly but surely realizing that life is a beautiful journey and everyday is a gift. Remember, this "quarter-life crisis" won't last forever....there's still that possibility of going through a "mid-life crisis." But look on the the bright side, maybe by then we would have found our place in the world. Enjoy your journey and live everyday like it's your last.

Until next time.....